Welcome back to The Quest for New Zealand’s Lord of the Rings by MEE!!! Today’s episode will consist of a look at Franz Josef and the Lord of the Rings sights therein. NOTE: This entry will be highly diluted by side-notes, opinions and random experiences of/on Josef.
So, I’m sure you’re all wondering right now, what is Franz Josef? (yes, yes?) Well, Franz Josef is a Glacier (except not with a capital G). And unlike my first (random and highly mistaken) sort of thought of what the glacier looked like, it was white. (Let me explain. I was thinking the glacier would be a totally transparent, beautiful light blue. I couldn’t tell you why). So the glacier was very white, opaque. Yeah, there was some light blue and then this weird pool-water blue.
But…before I get too far ahead of myself, let me explain some more. Turn to your DVD (by the way, if you’re still reading this and don’t have a DVD, I have to ask myself why I keep adding this section). The Return of the King, second disc. The scene is called The Lighting of the Beacons. Start it up. And you might as well watch from the start. It’s pretty obvious when the beacons start getting lit. But if you’re still confused. After Pippin lights the first beacon, wait a bit and Gandalf will say, “Hope is kindled.” Wahla.
This scene consists of a lot of dramatic music and beacons being lit. Incase you haven’t guessed, Franz Josef is where one of those beacons was lit. Feel free to watch all fourteen beacons being lit. Then go back and watch it all in slow motion.
Beacon 1) (lit by Pippin) Obviously not lit on the glacier. I mean really.
Beacon 2) Out on a mountain range. The valley is filled with a lot of weird up and down formations that kind of look like canyons. Probably not the glacier, consider that the glacier was basically surrounded (all around) by other mountains. It wasn’t in a long, thin, perfect line like the movie’s mountain range.
Beacon 3) (did I mention that the beacon wasn’t actually lit on Josef? It was lit on a neighboring mountain.) Out in a bunch mountains. Probably not the sight. Too many mountains, not enough forest and no glacier in sight.
Beacon 4 and 5) (you can see them both in the same scene. Just watch the first one be lit and then have some patience and wait for the second one to be lit.) Two mountain ranges separated by a bank of clouds. Probably not. Too high. The glacier was only just getting into the clouds, let alone above them.
Beacon 6) Really perfect snowy white mountain. Pointy, one tall mountain. No. I really don’t think so.
Beacon 7 and 8 ) Awesome scene. I love the night shot. Two scraggily mountains with…something in between them. Eh, could be. It’s certainly got the valley between them. I don’t know if the shape is right…then again I can’t judge because I never actually saw the mountain…I did mention that, right?
Beacon 9 and 10) Mountains. Wiendy valley. Another mountain. Probably not. The valley is just way to wiendy.
Beacon 11 and 12) Lots of tall pointy mountains. And there are just way too many of them.
Beacon 13) Little stumpy thing pointing out of the clouds (and another hunk of mountain blocking the screen…nah
Beacon 14) Final beacon, seen by Aragorn, who then goes and tells king Theoden, blah, blah, blah. The beacon. Mountains. Snow. Weird angles. I highly doubt it. I’m pretty sure the mountain we were looking at was an individual type mountain, not in any obvious range.
So, what does this all add up to? Which of these fourteen beacons did we see (what’s the lucky number?) And the answer is, I don’t know. Yeah, I’ve got my theories. I’ve got my suspicious, but to be truly honest, I don’t know.
Well, I hope you enjoyed my blurb on Lord of the Rings. But, before I end this episode, I’m going to tell you a little bit about Franz Josef Glacier (only without the capital G).
Just over a hundred years ago (105 if you want to be exact…soon to be 106 I suppose), there were two brothers. Shocker there. And these two brothers found this really awesome glacier (guess what’s it called) and decided it would be a great business if they could take groups up the glacier.
And thus, by that misfortunate event, the Franz Josef guided tours began. And I got pulled along on it somehow. It was cold. There was ice. There was snow. It was raining (hard) and our guide had this thing about never stopping.
I’m probably not the best person to tell you about this because I was not awed by the 8 billion (give or take a billion) tons of ice. Or the rocks that someone tried to thrown on our heads. Just kidding. No, that was someone moving rocks that might have otherwise fallen on our heads.
Nor was I impressed by the long crevices (crevasses?) that were so tight that you had to do a sort of shuffle because you couldn’t slide one foot past the other. Or the could be death defyingly steep steps up the glacier’s side. Or the tons of rock that had been pushed down the glacier by…let me start a new sentence before I try to explain this. A bunch of ice at the top of the glacier collapsed and blocked off all the stream mouths of all the…streams. So. The water couldn’t move. And it rained. And rained. And rained. For two days. And then, the glacier exploded, sending tons and tons of rock up into the air and back down on the glacier. Hence the wide sections of glacier covered in rocks.
Nor the newly forming cave that was being tunneled out by water and was about nine feet deep. Or the many insanely deep, water-filled holes we passed by. Or the huge ice cave you could fit a cathedral inside. Or the somewhat shake walk back down. Or the ten minute lunch break. Or the ice falls (you know, like water alls). Or the chance of slips (rock avalanches) that kept us walking non-stop for 400 meters.
No. I am afraid I was not awed. I am not awed easily. Although the bits and pieces of info were cool. But, honestly, thinking back on it, it was kind of impressive. And I certainly know a lot of people that were Awed (with a capital A).
This concludes another episode of The Quest for New Zealand’s Lord of the Rings by MEE!!! Stay toned for a short tomorrow at noon. Thank you for listening and goodnight.
